Roswitha – My Healing and Conversion
I give thanks to Him who gave me strength to give this testimony, Jesus Christ our Lord; Jer. 31:13: „I will turn their mourning into joy, I will comfort them, and give them gladness for sorrow.“
This is how God intervened in my life about five years ago.
Yes, I still had sad thoughts of my deceased parents. Grief in my heart as a single mother, after separation from my husband. I could only think of him with hatred, had existential fears.
When I look back today, I know that where I thought God had abandoned me, it was "HE" who stood by my side.
He stood by me so that I could live for free with my children at my brother's house.
He stood by me during a serious hip operation (according to a specialist, it was a model hip. He wanted to know which doctor had done such a good job). He stood by my side to that I managed to pass the ECDL (European Computer Driving License) at the age of forty without any computer skills.
He helped me so that a year later being the oldest applicant I received an office post in the administration of an SPWH (senior citizens and nursing home).
Although baptised and brought up by my parents as a Catholic, I did not regularly attend Holy Mass on Sundays and feast days.
My brother had been attending retreats on and off for a few years and invited me too. I had no idea how one could endure a week just listening to lectures about faith. This is only something for people with a spiritual profession! I was most frightened by the thought of undergoing a Holy Confession.
After the divorce, I received a call from my brother who was in Pinkafeld for a retreat led by Thomas Paul, a preacher from India. "Why don't you come to the evening mass today, it's a healing mass!" Spontaneously I said "YES". It was Jesus who wanted me to come. Zeph. 3:18 (“I will remove disaster from you ...") Never before had the words of the Scripture touched me as they did during this talk on the Sacrament of Penance. They shook and moved my soul. I had not confessed for thirty years. I was suddenly plagued by feelings of guilt. There were moments when I could hardly breathe.
In July 2003, I attended a retreat with Thomas Paul for the first time and went to Holy Confession.
Even outside the confessional I burst into tears. Although I could hardly speak, the priest was very understanding. Rev 21:4 (He will wipe away every tear....) Leaving the confessional, on the way to adoration, it seemed to me that with every step my soul's burden was lighter. Jesus had lifted all my burden. He carried it for me to Golgotha.
I could breathe deeply again.
Before the Eucharistic Lord, I opened the Bible for the first time "in prayer" and felt that it was Jesus who was speaking to me. I had never felt this warmth and intimacy before. My Bible passages were Is. 43:25. (I, I am He who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins) and Ps. 27.
At that moment God healed me of my existential fears. He took away my concern for my children. He was now my Father to whom the "prodigal daughter" had returned.
On the Monday after the retreat, at a check-up appointment with the lung specialist, he told me to stop taking the cortisone medication that I had been inhaling daily for three years. You are healthy! I couldn't believe it, just a few weeks ago I was struggling to breathe because my medication ran out at the weekend. Now you want me to stop?
I was healed through the Word of God, through the Sacrament of Confession and through prayer. Wis. 16:12 (For neither herb nor poultice cured them, but it was thy word, O Lord, which heals all men.)
Although this was my first retreat and my holiday was over, I took part in the subsequent four-week Bible course. In the evenings, I even attended every Holy Mass and healing prayer. I was so thirsty for God's Word. The simple interpretation of the Bible verses by Thomas Paul touched me so much that I learned to love Jesus more and more. Jesus delivered me from many fears during this time, from feelings of inferiority, frequent headaches, fears of dealing with disabled and elderly people, sadness, I even had suicidal thoughts as a child. During those weeks I became a new person and as the Bible says, "a new creation". I could suddenly forgive my husband and pray for him. Since that time, the Word of God has become my daily bread. How beautiful it is to live, to live for Jesus, who died and rose for me, He lives!!!
I have been in an intercession group for a year now. I have been able to experience so many times how Jesus works miracles again and again. He has delivered me from a terrible fear, which I had been dreaming about since I was a child.
I dreamt of bulls and cows that broke free from their chains in the stable and pressed against the front door with their horns, where I tried in vain to hold the door in the lock on the other side. Drenched in sweat, I woke up each time. Half a year ago, after a healing prayer, I received deliverance and healing from my terrible dreams. Until today. Thank You Jesus, I trust in You!
Even if some people laugh at me for my new attitude towards faith and my piety. (I am not ashamed of the Gospel, it is a power of God that saves everyone who believes..... Mt 5:11: Blessed are you when men revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account......)
He gives me new hope every day, He who is risen and alive for us all!
JESUS!!! Thank you!!!