Prof. Dr. med. Helmut Renner (Lucerne / Switzerland)

FORGIVENESS AND RECONCILIATION

Forgiveness and reconciliation - also important for our health? What is it that counts in life. Saint Thérèse of Lisieux, the church teacher, says: Only love counts. And St. Paul says in the First Letter to the Corinthians that love does not brood over injuries. Even a very worldly poet, Joachim Ringelnatz, puts it this way: Love makes life important. That is what is important in life: Love. And love contains what is important, i.e. forgiveness. Forgiveness is the important, perhaps even the most important prerequisite for a fulfilled and successful life.

My lecture on the subject of forgiveness is meant to be a practical guide for you, a practical instruction for practising forgiveness, a crash course, so to speak, almost like a doctor's prescription. It should not only contain theory, but practical application.
Forgiveness is important for our health and this is why I am speaking to you as a doctor.... Forgiveness is important for physical, mental and spiritual health. You may be asking yourself: Do I need to forgive at all, isn't this a matter only for the old and the sick? After all, you are in the middle of life. Healthy, happy, successful without problems, really without problems? Truly no skeleton in the cupboard?

Thus, my lecture should help you become aware of the problem and to take a first step towards forgiveness. And the first step in a new direction in the Bible is the beginning of repentance. Forgiveness as conversion in our lives. Forgiveness is an over-the-counter medicine for physical, mental and spiritual health, without a doctor and without a pharmacist, without risks and without side effects. Forgiveness makes us healthy and keeps us healthy.

Therefore, a simplified formula is:
Forgiveness = health. Non-forgiveness = illness.
Forgiveness is medicine for life. Forgiveness brings about healing and sanctification for time and eternity. And forgiveness is the first step to holiness. Forgiveness is Christian discipleship. Forgiveness is future in time and future in eternity, and to have a future is to have hope. Forgiveness creates hope. Forgiveness is the best remedy against the hopelessness of our time. So my medical prescription is: Forgive. Forgive, start today. Forgiveness is biblical. It is written in the Word of God, (some passages: Mt 6, Lk 11,
1 John 3, Eph 4, Rom 12, Col 3, Acts 16 and also in the Old Testament Sir 28, Is 65 ). And the apostle James exhorts us in his letter Jam 1 to take the Bible seriously.
He says, don't just listen to the word, but act according to it, otherwise you will deceive yourselves. And here you find some passages on forgiveness in the L etter to the Ephesians, chapter 4: Forgive one another, because God has also forgiven you through Christ, or in the Letter to the Colossians 3: Forgive other if one has a complaint against another. As the Lord has forgiven you, forgive one another.
Jesus Christ also tells us how eminently important forgiveness is. To the request of his disciples: Lord, teach us to pray, he says, "Pray, forgive us our sins, for we ourselves forgive every one who is indebted to us. (Lk11). Forgiving others is an exhortation Jesus Christ communicates to us very emphatically in the Bible. If we fail to forgive others, God cannot forgive us. Thus forgiveness is a MUST, a MUST for every human being, a MUST especially for every Christian. For the Bible is quite clear about it (Mt 6): But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Forgiveness is the will of God. God wants us to forgive. ALWAYS, EVERYONE, EVERYTHING, IMMEDIATELY... Thus forgiveness is obedience, obedience towards God- and forgiveness is love. Forgiveness is obedient love of God. Forgiveness is practised love of neighbour and forgiveness is healing self-love. Forgiveness eventually is lived Christianity. Forgiveness and love are mutually dependent. Whoever wants to live in the love of God must forgive, EVERYONE, EVERYTHING, ALWAYS, and only those who live in forgiveness live in the love of God and can pass this love on to their fellow human beings.
Love is the prerequisite for forgiveness and forgiveness is a fruit of love. Forgiveness is a specific remedy and love is the panacea. The key word of forgiveness is: I forgive you.
Without conditions, because true forgiveness is only possible when I forgive unconditionally. Thus, not: I forgive you if... but I forgive you without ifs and buts. I forgive you, this is what forgiveness means. The next level is reconciliation. Forgiveness is one-sided. Person 1 forgives person 2, reconciliation is mutual, reciprocal.
Person 1 forgives person 2 and person 2 forgives person 1, and this is the key word of reconciliation and towards reconciliation. Please forgive me. Forgiveness with our debtors, as it says in the Our Father, that is, with the people who have become guilty with us, is always possible. Reconciliation with our debtors will not always be successful. Reconciliation between two people will not always succeed if the other person is not or not yet ready for reconciliation or if the other person has already died. Reconciliation with God is always possible. In His infinite goodness and mercy, GOD is always and at all times ready for reconciliation. For God loves every human being unconditionally. That is also the Good News: God loves you, God loves me, God loves us, each of us unconditionally. Our forgiveness towards our fellow human beings or to ourselves needs to be perfected through our reconciliation with God. The - I forgive you - must be followed by - Lord, please forgive me -. We need to ask God for His forgiveness for our sin of previous non-forgiveness. And so our reconciliation with God requires repentance and humility: Lord, please forgive me. Reconciliation with God in repentance and humility in the Sacrament of Confession. What is the goal of our life? We all want to live a life of peace, joy and love. Peace with ourselves, with the world, with God. And in this peace I want to die one day, and I ask God for this grace of peace. And to win peace in life and peace with oneself, peace with the world, peace with God is only possible through forgiveness.
I speak as a doctor on the subject of forgiveness, because as a doctor I often see the consequences of initially invisible inner wounds which then manifest themselves in visible physical illnesses. The primary goal of forgiveness is inner healing, healing of the invisible inner wounds and, secondarily, healing of visible physical illnesses can - but does not have to happen.

Thus I will try to assign the subject of forgiveness to a truely holistic medicine. The wholeness of the human being consists of body, soul and spirit. One must not imagine this as different drawers in a chest of drawers but as a crystal that is specially cut on different sides, body, soul and spirit. And so, ultimately, the subject of forgiveness also has different aspects: physical, mental and spiritual aspects. From this wholeness of the human being, I can also distinguish the types of illnesses - holistically seen, I may group them into external physical illnesses, which are mainly accidents and infections, and internal mental/emotional illnesses, which are caused by disturbed relationships with fellow human beings and/or with oneself, as well as in spiritual illnesses, and here the cause is a broken relationship with God.
The physical illness is usually only the tip of the iceberg. Experienced, therapeutically oriented theologians say, the physical part of an illness often only accounts for 15%. 85% of the illnesses have their cause in the inner mental/emotional and in the spiritual areas of the human being. If I now try to classify medicine, I can, holistically speaking, divide it into natural, medical medicine, which we doctors and psychotherapists practise, and also into spiritual medicine, prayer medicine and sacramental medicine, for which we always need our priests. Prayer medicine as healing prayers, deliverance prayers and sacramental medicine with Confession, Eucharist, Anointing of the sick.

Everyone who feels healthy says, I am as fit as a fiddle, but this only concerns his shell, because he feels physically healthy, but is he also healthy in his core, inwardly and spiritually? We distinguish between the external, physical illnesses and the inner mental and spiritual illnesses, and when we pray for healing, i.e. practise spiritual medicine, we also have to make a purely systematic distinction between prayer for physical healing, prayer for inner mental/emotional healing or deliverance and prayer for spiritual healing or deliverance.
The inner mental/emotional illness is the result of a disturbed relationship with oneself and/or with one's fellow human beings. Causes for such an inner mental illness can be inner wounds or attachments, own ties or bondages from ancestors. And so I would like to resrict the topic today to inner mental/emotional illnesses as causes of inner wounds.
External injuries are clearly visible, inner wounds are initially hidden, invisible. We have to make them visible, bring them into consciousness and then act by treating them, and this treatment is forgiveness.
Hurts are a result of vulnerability and vulnerability is very individual. The same situations are not felt by one person at all, and another person may feel it as deeply hurting. Some people are thick-skinned, and some people are thin-skinned and sensitive. The person who hurts us, the one who hurts us, often does not know that he has hurt us, or has long since forgotten it, or perhaps he didn't mean it in a hurtful way at all, so he was just being insensitive. The consequences, however, can be devastating for the other person, who may have to bear the consequences for the rest of his or her life. Do you want to be such a victim who may have to carry such a burden for the rest of your life?

The solution, the healing of these wounds, this solution, this healing is called FORGIVENESS. Inner healing through forgiveness, Forgiveness as a path to inner healing, forgiveness as a prerequisite for inner healing and inner healing as the fruit of forgiveness. And here we are talking about healing during inner healing, not just helping. Often in medicine of physical illnesses, in particular, only help is possible and not healing. Here, too, for these mental/emotional illnesses, good help may often be provided through psychotherapy by professional helpers, life counsellors, psychotherapists, psychologists. But healing of inner wounds is only possible through forgiveness.
And this keyword of forgiveness, I repeat it again, is: I FORGIVE YOU.
The goal of our forgiving is not forgetting, forgiving is not forgetting, forgiving is not sweeping under the carpet, forgiving is not passively letting go. Forgiveness is active, giving, forgiving is giving away, forgiving is releasing. To release the burden of the previous unforgiveness, to give it away. Releasing myself and my culprit. To forgive is to give away. To whom?, to Jesus Christ, to the cross. Jesus Christ then bears the burden, he is then the one who who ultimately provides justice and mercy.
Jesus Christ is the Lord. Jesus Christ is the healer. To forgive means to release, I release myself, I release my culprit , I release GOD. I release my culprit, I release GOD, I give God the freedom so that God can freely work on me and on my culprit with his love and mercy.

Why am I in a situation of having to forgive at all, because I am hurt inside, so I have to give my hurts to Jesus Christ, because He is the only one who can heal my inner hurts.
Jesus Christ is the healer, Jesus Christ heals, but Jesus Christ can only heal my inner hurts if I contribute to it myself and if I am willing to forgive out of my own free will. Thus forgiveness is an an act of will, a free will decision. I want to forgive. Forgiveness is therefore not an act of maudlin, seething sentiment. Forgiveness is free will, I want to forgive.
This act of forgiveness, can be divided into different steps, and so I will give you a very personal recipe, a personal recommendation for the different steps of forgiveness.
The first step is a decision of the will, the second step is prayer, the third step is actual forgiveness and surrender, the fourth step is a prayer of intercession and blessing, and the fifth step is a prayer of thanksgiving.
Step 1: Decision of the will - I WILL forgive here and now.
Step 2: Prayer for help - God help me to forgive! I need spiritual help from God to be able to forgive.
Step 3: Forgive, Release, Give away - I forgive now, I release, I give away.
Step 4: Intercede for this person who has hurt me, my culprit, who himself has violated the commandment of love by hurting me. I ask for forgiveness on his behalf, just as Christ asked for forgiveness on our behalf on the cross. Christ asked for our forgiveness on the cross. Just as Stephen, our first martyr, asked for forgiveness on behalf of his tormentors.. And I do so for the one who has hurt me.
Step 5: Prayer of thanksgiving. I thank Jesus Christ for releasing me from this burden of unforgiveness.

And finally, I suggest that we pray this prayer of forgiveness for the wounds together.
Forgiveness is an easy exercise and why should it be easy for me in principle? Well, a simple psychologist's rule is: Only those who have been hurt, hurt. The one who has hurt me is a hurt person himself , so in principle he is a poor bugger. And isn't it easy to forgive a poor bugger?
Forgiveness can be quite a difficult exercise. Forgiveness in certain situations is certainly difficult, perhaps extremely extremely difficult, even impossible from a human point of view. I am thinking of parents who have lost a child in a traffic accident, a traffic accident caused by a drunk driver. But even if forgiveness is difficult, it still has to be done.
For it is the will of God, and only our Lord Jesus Christ can help here, and here forgiveness is only possible through the power of the Holy Spirit. the Spirit of love that comes from Jesus.
To forgive in a difficult situation, this is where our actual Christianity comes in. Being a Christian is not an abstract teaching, but first of all the person Jesus Christ, to whom we must always look. When it comes to forgiving, then look to JESUS.
Forgiveness has to be learned, forgiving is a process, a process that may take time and patience, but don't take too long. Forgiveness must be practised constantly. Forgiveness should be immediate and quick, even before sunset. (Eph 4) Forgiveness should never be delayed too long. Forgiveness is a piece of work. Forgiveness does not fall into your lap. You have to work through your list, and working through your list does not mean forgiving everyone but to forgive INDIVIDUALLY- each individual, for each individual situation.
How do I go about my forgiveness work in practice? Like the ancient Greek philosophers, I can ask myself the W-questions: Whom do I have to forgive?, What do I have to forgive?, When do I have to forgive?, How often do I have to forgive?.
The question who: the answer: Everyone
The question what: the answer: Everything
The question when: the answer: Immediately
The question how often: the answer: Always

For the question: WHO do I have to forgive, I recommend that you take three blank sheets of typewriter paper. On the first one you write the heading FELLOW HUMAN BEINGS, and this page will contain a lot of names, names from times of early childhood, names from the family, names and events that you thought you had long forgotten, familiar names, and I say, on this page it's rarely the postman whom you put. It is rarely the postman whom we have to forgive. But on this page there are father, mother, brother, sister, children. Parents can hurt their children very much and children can hurt their parents very much. Spouses, relatives, parents-in-law, neighbours, friends, schoolmates, fellow students, road users, teachers, superiors, colleagues, lawyers, doctors, priests, authorities, politicians and many more. And it does not matter whether this person I have to forgive is next to me or lives far away, whether he is present or not, or whether he has even passed away. We must also forgive the deceased if they have hurt us in their lives.
Now take the second page. As a heading write I MYSELF. Here you may become more hesitant, but it is precisely this point, the personal forgiveness, which is important. For someone it is harder to forgive oneself than to forgive another. Forgiving oneself ultimately means accepting oneself. And what can be put on this page - Myself? Own guilt, own failure, own mistakes, lack of self-acceptance, self-reproach, unfulfilled expectations, wrong reactions in certain situations, and much more.
Let's move on to the third page. Here you take as a heading: GOD. What I should forgive God for. Are we allowed to reproach God at all? Are we allowed to hold grudges against God?. Certainly not the latter, but there are things God allows that we cannot understand at first and here there is a danger for us of accusing God. God, why? Here we must humbly accept God's providence, God's will, because ultimately, God makes no mistakes. Ultimately: God does not make mistakes, God writes straight even on crooked lines. We may complain before God, but we must not accuse God. We must not quarrel with God. We must always trust God in every situation. We must not mistrust God. Jesus told Sister Faustina, "Distrust is the greatest sin against me, and he reveals to her to trust in Him and this wonderful image -Jesus I Trust in You-. a wonderful prayer: JESUS I TRUST IN YOU. And so you take the third page and write over it as a heading: GOD, and here you can write down: Death of a beloved one, great misfortune, severe illness, severe blows of fate, war, natural disasters, acts of terrorism, etc.

These were the three pages on whom I have to forgive everything. The next question is WHAT, and here the answer is: EVERYTHING. I must forgive everything, nothing must remain unforgiven.
The next question, WHEN to forgive. Answer: as soon as possible, in any case on the same day before sunset. At the latest in the evening at night prayer. In this way we can start anew the next morning and prevent a new bitter root from growing.

Forgiving in time is important. Above all, do not take anything unforgiven with you into DEATH, neither in your heart, nor in your will. Remember, death could come suddenly and unexpectedly. Dying can also be very difficult. You may also be so ill when you die that you lack the strength to forgive or the awareness that you still have to forgive. That's why my advice is to forgive in time.
If you cannot forgive right away because your hurt is too great, pray again and again, if possible daily: Lord, please forgive me for not being able to forgive now, I cannot do it yet. But give me the strength to forgive as soon as possible. I will try again and again to be able to forgive, Lord help me in my unforgiveness.

The next question, HOW OFTEN do I have to forgive? Peter asks Jesus, "How often do I have to forgive? 7 times?" and Jesus answers him (and this is the translation I like best), "Seven times seventy times", which is 490 times a day, that is, if you subtract about 8 hours of sleep, every three minutes, which means we need a constant attitude of forgiveness.
You may ask yourself, why should I forgive, it is the other person who has hurt me. My answer is, because everyone has to forgive and I myself am no exception. The biblical mandate applies to everyone, therefore also to me. Forgiveness is a must if I want to stay healthy or become healthy, if I want to grow in my faith, if I want to become free from attachments, if I want to live a joyful life, and much more. You see, this emphasis on the I. Forgiveness is an act of self-love and love of neighbour and love of God. The first fellow human beings I have to forgive or problems I have with myself or with God that I have to forgive, these first things will come to me quickly and easily. I am more or less aware of them. But then, other names and problems may not come to my mind.
A lot of unforgiveness may be so dormant in the unconscious mind. And UNCONSCIOUS unforgiveness is a bitter root for much negativity or the cause of a broken heart. The bitter root, that is a wound which I was originally aware of, but which I did not forgive and which, through repression, sank into the unconscious mind and thus causes terrible consequences in me. The BROKEN HEART, this is a rejection which has broken a relationship or a trust, which I was not originally aware of, but which lies dormant in my unconscious, mind and if it is not uncovered, will also have very negative consequences.
The negative fruits of the bitter ROOT are: negative expectations, hypersensitivity, aggression, anger, hatred, coldness, a stony heart...
Negative fruits of a broken heart are withdrawal, aloofness, criticism addiction, cynicism, ingratitude, sarcasm, aggression, anger, hatred, hardness, coldness, addiction, fears, spiritual blockage, lack of self-acceptance.

Thus it is necessary to recognise the spiritual truths and to accept them in faith in order to work through the various unforgivings, the conscious and especially the unconscious ones. But the good news is: Jesus Christ came to heal us.
Jesus Christ has come to heal us, Jesus Christ is our healer. In the work of forgiveness I systematically distinguish two steps. A first step in the work of forgiveness is the forgiveness of my conscious unforgiveness. We have already talked about this.
A further step is the forgiveness of the unforgiveness that I am initially unaware of, and further prayer is necessary here. First a prayer to the Holy Spirit with the request to reveal to me what is still unconscious and hidden, and then a prayer to Jesus Christ to go with me through my whole life and to heal it.

And so we pray to the HOLY SPIRIT:
Holy Spirit I pray, show me who I still need to forgive. I am ready to forgive all people for anything, at any time. I am ready to do the will of God.
And we pray to JESUS CHRIST:
Lord Jesus Christ, I ask you now to walk with me through my whole life, all the stages, all the situations, all the all the people from the moment of my conception until today. You were always there. You know every moment of my life. Jesus I want to forgive all the people who have hurt me. Jesus, touch me now, heal all my inner hurts and wounds which have been caused by these people and delvier me from all negative attachments. I thank you for everything, I praise you now and for all eternity.

Forgiveness is a must. What about the other side of the coin, not forgiving? What does non-forgiveness do? Can I even afford not to forgive? Many people who are hurt feel that they themselves are fully right right and see the other person as being completely wrong. I am right, so I don't have to forgive or be the first to forgive. Subjective self-righteousness or self-pity then often prevent forgiveness and reconciliation. But remember, objectively, right and wrong are often found on both sides. Not forgiving, for whatever reason is sin, a SIN against the commandment of love., and here too the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant applies: as long as the last penny is not paid, we cannot get out of the tower of debt. Not forgiving harms myself.
Non-forgiveness puts us in chains, builds walls around us, hardens our heart to stone, causes negative attachments, and without forgiveness no help is possible for many problems, mental and spiritual problems and, without our forgiveness our prayers do not reach God. And if you ask me, can I afford not to forgive?, my answer is quite clear: in principle NO, because otherwise the bitter root will continue to grow, you will continue to be imprisoned and in bondage, you open the door to physical and mental illness.
Unforgiveness, lack of reconciliation leads to blindness. Those who are unforgiving towards a situation, towards a person, can no longer think clearly about this situation or this person, can no longer see clearly. They are like someone with two mindcuffs, one on the right and one on the left, being blockheaded. Is it possible to see and think clearly? Romano Guardini recognised this and spoke about sin and also the sin of non-forgiveness. Sin leads to blindness, and blindness leads deeper and deeper into sin.
Now again, there is a medical aspect of forgiveness: In their book, Christof Hessel-barth, an evangelical pastor, and Dr Peter Riekert, a doctor, write about illnesses in which non-forgiveness can be a contributory cause or perhaps a main cause.
When you read this book, which is like an encyclopaedia of medicine from A-Z you will find diagnoses such as: acne, anxiety, allergies, asthma, high blood pressure, depression, gallbladder problems, shingles, kidney problems, heart problems, childlessness, cancer, headaches, stomach problems, anorexia, back pain, indefinable pain, cysts and many more. These authors write not only from theory but from their many years of practical experience. They dwell on how important it is with every physical and mental illness to think about whether it is not a case of unforgiveness. Unforgiveness can be one of the causes of such an illness, and if it is the case, the work of forgiveness should be done in the healing process.
For example: the physical symptom of back pain. Here the cause can be physical - and we take on the view of holistic medicine - through overloading and incorrect burdening of intervertebral discs and the musculature. The cause can be mental: anger and the like. Unforgiveness - when I get angry, everything in me contracts, muscles contract, the nerves are pressed, the intervertebral discs, and this triggers pain and inflammation.
But the cause can also be spiritual: in the rebellion against God.
I don't want to bow down to God and then I notice how it hurts in my back. Thus forgiveness is therapy, is a spiritual therapy, is self-medication, but it must be supplemented and completed by the divine medicine in the Sacrament of Confession. Forgiveness is intelligent, is an act of spiritual intelligence. Forgiveness is health-giving and thus one proves oneself to be intelligent, and non-forgiveness is ultimately sickening, and thus one proves oneself to be rather stupid and dumb. Spiritual intelligence can be measured in terms of reconciliation and forgiveness and you realise that people who live in forgiveness and reconciliation have a lower blood pressure, they spare their heart, so forgiving as an act of piety is also clever. It is just smart to be pious, because Paul says in the Letter to the Hebrews: the spiritual dimension is always primary, he states: out of the invisible has come the visible.
And so, as a doctor, I can say that spiritual health is the basis of our mental and physical health.
And forgiveness is a benefit, forgiveness means health through healing of certain symptoms and diseases. Forgiveness means peace with the people who have hurt us, peace with oneself, peace with God.
Forgiveness means freedom from negative attachments, forgiveness means memories without anger, without pain, without grudge, without bitterness, and that's how I can recognise real forgiveness.
This is a quality mark, a quality control for real forgiveness: I can think of this person and that person, remember, without anger, without resentment, without bitterness, without pain, without tears, without holding a grudge against that person. I can bless this person again. And from that I can see that I have truly forgiven that person.
Forgiveness cuts the negative ties to the hurting person and to the injustice suffered.
Forgiveness is thus a spiritual therapy. Medicine a spiritual medicine. And so my recommendation to you and also to me, to all of us, is: let us henceforth live a lifestyle of forgiveness. Seven times seventy times a day. Let us stay on the path of forgiveness. Let us always forgive immediately, every person who wrongs us or hurts us. Let us bring every pain immediately to the Lord Jesus on the cross and leave it there, and in this way we prevent a bitter root from growing in us again and thus from falling into the clutches of the evil enemy. Forgiveness and possibly also reconciliation with our fellow human beings and with ourselves is a prerequisite for reconciliation with God. Unless we forgive, God cannot forgive.
In holistic medicine, I draw a distinctiction between medicine through doctors and psycho-therapists on the one hand, and spiritual medicine, consisting of prayer medicine and sacramental medicine, on the other.
There is now forgiveness-prayer medicine supplemented by sacramental medicine in confession and the Eucharist. And what we lack is a theologically founded medicine, especially a theologically based therapy. The beginnings are there. One could also put it in a different way.
What we are missing is: we urgently need a therapeutic theology. God heals... A therapeutic theology for the healing of mental and spiritual illnesses, a healing that is often a prerequisite for the healing of physical symptoms or illnesses.
My lecture cannot and should not be a replacement for several days of retreat and the final necessary purification in the Sacrament of personal Confession.
I must bring my former unforgiveness, unforgiveness as a sin against the commandment of love before God in confession and repentantly ask God for forgiveness. Only then am I truly cleansed, pure, reconciled with myself, reconciled with the world, reconciled with God.
Finally, I remind you again of the two parts of the work of forgiveness. Forgiveness of conscious hurts as willful prayer of forgiveness and prayer for uncovering and healing of the unconscious hurts.

So let us pray together for the forgiveness of such a conscious hurt, if you want to pray with me - and I recommend that you pray aloud. Always at the point where I say the word NAME, insert the concrete name of the person whom you now want to forgive with all your heart. Heaven will richly reward you for this forgiveness.
So we pray together:
Triune God help me to forgive now. I want to forgive here and now. And so I proclaim and confess aloud before the visible and invisible world.
Triune God help me to forgive.
Lord Jesus Christ, through your Holy Spirit give me the power to forgive ..... . I want to fulfil the will of the Father through my forgiveness.
Lord Jesus Christ forgive me for not having forgiven ..... until now. And that until now I have reacted against .....with resentment, bitterness and unforgiveness in my heart. I have sinned against your love.
Lord Jesus Christ, I forgive ..... with all my heart. I now release ..... .
Lord Jesus Christ, I now relinquish ..... to you. Lord Jesus Christ, I also give you all my pain and all my bitterness and all the resentment that I have hitherto held against..... in my heart.
Lord Jesus Christ, I ask you now to heal all my inner wounds, hurts and memories.
Lord Jesus Christ, I ask for forgiveness on behalf of ... who hurt me so much at that time. Forgive him for the sin against your love. He did not know what he was doing and do not count it as a sin.
Lord Jesus Christ, I commit ...... into your love and mercy. Receive him now into your loving heart. Take care of him now, care for him, help him, heal him, and give him the strength to forgive me. Lord Jesus Christ, I do not want to bear a grudge against ..... I only want to think and speak good things about...
Lord Jesus Christ, I bless.... in Your Holy Name.
Lord Jesus Christ, I thank you for everything, I thank you that You have now taken the burden of unforgiveness from me and set me free for Your love. I thank you for Your love, I will praise and glorify You, now and for evermore.  Amen.